Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Re-invent This: GM's Total Confidence Ads

I'm percolating a post about my incredibly jealous Spitfire, but first this.

Between every story on the CBS Evening News Online last week, I had to listen to the insult below from GM. Why "insult," you ask. Because the clear implication, to me at least, is that GM's current crisis is somehow my fault. That I'm not trying hard enough. That I need to put on my "rally-cap" and "dig in" for America's comeback to work.

News flash for GM: What's needed is for GM to grab GM's ears and pull until GM hears a loud pop. That will indicate the extraction of GM's cranium from its rectal orifice is complete and then perhaps a comeback can begin. Perhaps. I'm not certain it isn't too late. Welcome to the 21st century GM. Who could've seen it coming? Duh.

It ranks up there with the ad that used to play before movies a couple years ago, using a lie to dissuade a theft.

I couldn't find a video of that old ad, but I found another site that said nearly exactly what I was about to say. So to save time, here's someone else's spot-on rant:

The anti-piracy ad running in movie theatres across the country is a big fat lie.

Commercials I Hate: Anti-Piracy Ads in Theatres

The ad features a set painter. He explains that movie piracy hurts him more than it could ever hurt the big fat rich movie producers.
Hmmm, that's interesting, because a set painter isn't affected by piracy at all.
A set painter gets paid the same, whether you pay to see the movie or not.
A set painter's job doesn't depend on the box-office revenue of the film.
A set painter gets paid even if the movie is never released at all.

This set painter is a liar. The MPAA are liars.

Here is what the MPAA says on their website, respectcopyrights.org:


The entertainment industry isn't made up only of familiar actors, actresses and directors. It is made up of over 500,000 everyday working people that bring the magic of the movies to you.

But, when movies are illegally downloaded from the Internet, these are the people that suffer the most.
It's the woman who does the make-up,
the guy who rigs the lighting,
the sound technician,
the costume designer,
the set decorator
and the caterer.

Do you really want these people to lose their jobs?

Show of hands, people.
Who thinks they're gonna stop making movies because of piracy?
I already noticed they stopped making good movies.
The price of a movie ticket has tripled in the last decade and the movies get worse and worse.
Here's my advice. Steal from the greedy miserable lying bastards.
Pay for one movie, sneak into two. Download anything you can find.
Show the MPAA that we don't like lies and the lying liars who tell them.
And here's my advice for the MPAA: Don't annoy people who paid for their movie tickets
by forcing them to watch a phony ad about piracy. They bought tickets.
Instead focus your ad campaign on the internet where the piracy is.
Buy ad space on a file-sharing site, Jesus Christ. Don't you ever talk to young people?
Sort of forfeits the moral high ground near the end, but I so understood the sentiment. Used to make me seethe every time I saw that ad before a movie.

GM's new campaign has pretty much the same effect. I can't help but wonder if I'm all alone on this, or if it's going to backfire on them. Then again, maybe they know what they're doing. Maybe they know they're doomed and this is just step one in their plan to put the blame on us. That seems the most likely scenario of all.